I have a habit (good or bad) of picking things up off the ground. I dislike litter and part of me does it to do my part in helping clean up the world. The other part of me is more interested in the glimpses I get into the lives of people I'll never get to meet.
For example, one time I picked up a piece of paper that ended up being someones dropped shopping list. Among the list of crossed out items, a hastily written note in the corner read "Don't forget to buy a gift!". I found myself wondering who was getting a gift. A parent? A significant other? A Child? I also found myself wondering what the eventual gift might be. A toy? A book?
Anyway, the reason I tell you this about myself is because sometimes, I pick things up that change my life. Today was one of those times. I was out running errands earlier and I found a folded piece of paper on the sidewalk. Picking it up, I stuffed it into my pocket. I was nowhere near a trashcan and I was running late so I figured I'd toss it out later.
Later came and went. Apparently I forgot about the slip of paper. I'm really glad I did. After settling down for the night, I started emptying my pocket and found the paper. This is what it said:
I wonder who wrote this and why. I can only imagine the thoughts running through the person's mind when they penned this. The words are a powerful reminder to never limit yourself in anything you do. The universe works in mysterious ways, and I don't believe that coincidence is the reason that I found this today. Let the words sink in. Feel their power. Do great things.
I guess I should start off by telling you a little about myself. For anyone that doesn't know me personally, for the past few years (almost 5 to be exact) I've been working for a company here where I live that provides home health care for individuals with mental and/or physical disabilities. I've been with the same person the whole time and I've since been promoted to being his lead staff, managing his day program as well as his finances.
That being said, something very heartwarming happened to us today. We were out and about running some routine errands and we stopped by a store to pick up a small heater for my individual's room because it's been getting cold lately and for some reason his room hasn't been heating up well.
After the trip to the back of the store to grab the heater, we made our way to a checkout line. Being the holidays, they were all pretty busy so we just picked one at random. In front of us in line was an elderly couple chatting quietly and waiting to pay. I let my individual pick out a piece of candy because he was doing pretty well and it was a good treat for waiting patiently.
I said "excuse me" to the couple so they wouldn't be surprised by my individual. They smiled at me. After my individual picked out a bag of M&M's (his usual go to treat), we continued to stand in line.
After a moment, the man in front of us turned to me. Hand outstretched, he said "I just want to say thank you for everything that you do for him". He nodded to my individual, who at this time was all smiles. I shook his hand and noted that he was wearing a retired armed forces hat. I said "Only if I can say thank you for everything you did for me".
The look on his face as well as his wife's face was nothing short of priceless.
The rest of the time we were in line (the span of maybe 5 minutes) we just chatted. The connection we shared was so pure and genuine. He told me that both of his sons were mentally disabled and that he had a deep respect for what I do. I told him that my dad is retired Navy.
Finally it was their turn to cash out. We shook hands one last time after they paid and they left after telling my individual "Merry Christmas".
It's moments like what happened today that warm my heart. I often wonder if what I do is worth it, and times like today remind me that it is.
I'm finding it harder and harder not to feel nostalgic this time of year. I had a very nontraditional and deprived childhood as a kid, and because of that, I love all the traditions that I never got to experience when I was growing up. Waking up and eating the candy out of an advent calendar, sending out holiday cards, decorating the house with Christmas lights, making (and eating) holiday cookies, Santa hats, ugly sweaters, gifts under the tree, shooting my Red Ryder (no, I haven't shot my eye out), among other things.
In a way I kind of feel like I'm making up for lost time. But in a way it's so much more. I think as a kid, we take things for granted. Since I experienced all these things when I was older, I feel like I'm able to cherish the feelings that come along with the holidays better.
And for that I'm thankful.
As Christmas nears, I can't help but get excited! It's not even about gifts or material things. What I'm most excited about is spending the holiday with people that mean the most to me. Making memories.
I've come to realize that the holidays are about love, cheer, joy, family, friends, and happiness. It's that warm fuzzy feeling you get in your chest when someone you love opens a gift you worked so hard to find. The look in their eyes and the smile on their face at the thought of knowing someone loves them. To me THAT is what the holidays are about.
Happy holidays, guys!
Rain trickles down the outside of my bedroom window. The world outside is gray. Shadows hide and slumber, tired from their night of fun. I fight exhaustion and breath in deep. Some days motivation escapes me. I fight the urge to question the purpose of life, a topic I've recycled time and time again in the workings of my thoughts. I get up and go through the motions of my morning routine.
While waiting for my car to heat up, I remind myself that it's okay to feel down. It's okay to feel lost. It's okay to fake your way through the day in an effort to get back on track. Comfort settles into my chest.
Life is about balance. To appreciate the good, we must know the bad. I'm not quite sure where or how I learned it, but I've grown to accept that just because it's "one of those days" doesn't mean the whole day is a complete bust. I've grown to learn that you can't let the little things bring the rest of your day down. Even during those moments that bring you down, happiness and positivity are still all around you. You just have to work a little harder at finding it.
So that's what I'm going to do.
The other day I was at the laundromat waiting to put clothes into the dryer. In the process of waiting, I randomly started thinking of the evolution of washing machines. My mind traveled into the past and started a mental journey from the creation of clothing, to the need to wash them. Then it jumped from the idea of primitive washing methods to how advancement in technology has brought us to the present incarnation of a tool we often take for granted.
After my odd train of thought ran its course, my mind translated the things that ran through my mind and applied it to life. More specifically mine.
It's funny how things happen (be it by our own creation or not) that changes our lives. Changes, that when added together, create the sum of who we are. Some changes are so big that we remember them for years. Others are so small that we often forget them soon after they happen. Nevertheless, change is a never ending process, and to chronicle ALL of one's life changes is impossible.
As I subconsciously loaded my laundry into the dryer, my mind continued its deep inward processing of my life and a feeling of warm nostalgia hugged me like a fleece blanket on a cold winter day.
Being so close to the new year, I thought back to the beginning of 2015 and made mental notes of major events in my life that have affected me this past year. Here are a few that stick out the most:
-I graduated from college. Probably one of my proudest moments to date, graduating was proof to myself that I was able to do something that seemed impossible to me in the past. The look on the faces of people I love that supported me through it all was nothing short of priceless.
-I was named the godfather of my best friend's child. One of my scariest moments to date, being made a godfather has made me re-evaluate my life (in a good way) and made me question who I was as a person. I want to be a good role model to my godchild and I wanted to be able to believe that I live a life that is worthy of the great honor I feel for the title of godfather. To this day, and every day on, I still feel deep gratitude to be given this chance. I don't want to fuck it up.
-I was accepted as an undergraduate. I never thought I'd continue my education after graduating, but being accepted as an undergraduate gave me a new found motivation that seemed to be hiding somewhere inside me.
When my mind was finally satisfied with its moment of deep reflection, I looked around and realized my clothes were dry. I emptied the dryer and went on with my day, leaving a better person than I was before.
